+ ANTI-CORRUPTION ACT BANNING LOBBYIST MONEY

Our nation is facing many very large crises. We have a healthcare crisis, stagnant wage crisis, a crisis of gun violence, and a climate crisis threatening our very exisitence. Yet every crisis we face is not truly addressed because money from big business special interests funds our political campaigns, corrupting all of our government. With one law we can and will ban ALL lobbyist money from campaigns. Then our lawmakers will be free to finally work just for you. Don't worry, lobbyists can still lobby. They just can't ALSO fund campaigns. It's ridiculous how we have sold our government to the highest bidder. Big corporations dictate our policies. They even write our bills! And it's insanely expensive to run for office and try and change it. But we will. Passing this one simple law will be one of our highest priorities.

+ TAKE OUR DEMOCRACY BACK

From all the forces trying to reduce our influence on our own country. The Anti-Corruption Act will also include the following:

OUTLAWING GERRYMANDERING so Republicans can no longer do an insane thing THEY ACTUALLY DO which is carving districts in weird shapes so that minorities' votes count less. We will not only end this practice but we will make it so that any efforts to restrict someone's access to vote in any way will be a serious crime. Do not mess with our democracy!

IMPLEMENTING RANKED CHOICE VOTING so instead of choosing just one candidate you can rank your top choices, and if your first choice doesn't get a majority they simply remove them from the count and then count your second choice. This way you can freely support whoever you most want, without fear of your vote not really counting. This will also make sure that smaller candidates not only get a bigger voice, but that if they don't win they won't be a spoiler putting the person you REALLY don't want in office.

BIG MONEY OUT OF POLITICS by REVERSING CITIZENS UNITED because "Corporations are NOT people, my friend." That's just the obvious definition of words.

ENDING THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE because we no longer have any issue getting information to everyone, and because one person should equal one vote, and the popular vote should obviously determine the winner. Millions of people's wishes should not be outweighed by just thousands of people. That's just basic math.

CLOSING THE REVOLVING DOOR so lawmakers cannot go work for lobbyist firms after serving in Congress. Because THAT MAKES THEM CORRUPT AF. We will actually have true public servants for once.

STOPPING FOREIGN INTERFERENCE by fortifying our voting systems, ensuring social networks know who is posting political content, and aggressively punishing any attempt to hack into our voting systems or to infiltrate our democracy in any way. Something our treasonous president refuses to do.

We will also END SECRET MONEY, requiring all contributions even to PACS to be immediately disclosed. BAN ELECTED OFFICIALS FROM FUNDRAISING DURING WORK HOURS. AND BAN LOBBYISTS FROM WRITING BILLS THEMSELVES, which is just absurd that it currently happens. We have a bunch of lazy, weak leaders that have allowed this to be the way we do business. We must change it.

I realize this was nine issues in one, but they are related and we are trying not to overwhelm you, okay?

+ COMPASSIONATE CAPITALISM: WORKING TO CLOSE THE INCOME & WEALTH GAP

Fighting for a living wage and affordable housing for all. Because if you can't live on the money you make, then what is the damn point of working? Being able to live is pretty key. So is being able to save, but you can't with NO MONEY LEFT OVER! We will give middle income and working class people a "COST OF LIVING TAX REFUND" every month.

I am the only working person in the race, and the only union member, so you know I will fight for you, because I am one of you. I am not a socialist. I believe in capitalism. But just under one very obvious rule, not achieving your financial success while hurting others.

That’s why I call myself a COMPASSIONATE CAPITALIST. We must be able to achieve upward mobility in America. But we also must catch people when they fall. This makes them more willing to take risks, which helps the economy. But it’s also the right thing to do.

+ HEALTHCARE FOR EVERYONE BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY

Every rich nation on earth can do it. It's time we protected our own. But government won't successfully handle all 300 Americans. They couldn't even get the healthcare website up! And it is un-American to not offer choice. I had a health scare recently, and the freedom of choice is what made me able to get the care I needed. In America everyone should have good coverage, but you should also be able to purchase better care if your life depends on it and you aren’t satisfied with your government plan.

Plus, Medicare often reimburses at much lower rates than the private market, which would cause many rural doctors' offices and hospitals who are already struggling, to close their doors, giving people in those areas coverage, but difficulty accessing care. So we expand Medicare to the millions with no coverage, while fixing Obamacare & reigning in drug prices. This doesn't need to be either or.

We will also end employer-based insurance, because too many people feel stuck in jobs for decades when they have other dreams, but they fear losing their health insurance, so they stay. That's not cool. Health care is a right, and so it should not be tied to whatever your current job happens to be. Because your current job might suck!

+ SAVING OUR ONE PLANET

Finally taking this dire issue seriously. Because, NEWS FLASH, we can't breathe on Mars. When the consensus of the scientists of the world say that we have just 12 years left to reverse course or DESTROY EARTH, I kinda feel like WE SHOULD LISTEN. On day one we will re-enter the Paris Climate Accord, and on day two begin pushing for a tougher and more enforceable agreement. And we will begin implementing the principles of the Green New Deal. We will end our dependence on fossil fuels, we will ban single use plastics, we will invest in clean energies and we will create millions of jobs by doing so. We will save the planet.

Are Republicans not brave enough to step up to this fight? I thought you guys were supposed to be tough. -We must frame it this way, by challenging them to step up for the fight of our lives, because Democrats far too often fail at messaging. And messaging wins minds. Also, fun fact, their name is CONSERVE-atives, so do some damn conserving!

+ COMBINE WHITE COLLAR PRISONS & BLUE COLLAR PRISONS

Want to stop corporate crime? That’ll do it. White collar crime hurts millions of people, that's far worse than someone who just sold weed in their neighborhood to try to provide food for their family. So why does the worse criminal get to go to a country club jail? While the weed dealer ends up in prison with murderers. No more of that. We have plenty of class divide in our country. We should not also have a class system in our jails. And this is how we will get true prison reform as well. When the rich and powerful experience the true state of our prisons, change will come. This will also lead to the end of cash bail, which is discriminatory, and make our prisons actual CORRECTIONAL facilities. Also we will end private prisons, because you shouldn't make money from incarcerating people. Choose a better business, bro.

+ FINALLY TAKING CARE OF OUR VETERANS

We gave them our word, and for us they risk their lives. I will make sure we honor them by finally funding the VA properly, within the first year, and providing the care they deserve. It’s unacceptable this has not already been done. Who are we if we do not fully honor those who protect our freedom?

+ MODERNIZING OUR SCHOOLS BECAUSE, UM, IT'S OUR CHILDREN, HELLO?

We have exponentially evolved yet our schools are still chalkboards and dusty textbooks. We will teach real life skills, financial literacy, and schools will have things called "the internet" and "computers". We will teach coding and prepare people for the jobs of the future. And we will teach context to our students, so they understand why they are being taught this, why it is important, so that school stops being seen as largely punitive, and so our children feel as though they are opting in. No one learns well when they feel they are being forced to. That's why rarely has someone gotten a GED while being kidnapped.

+ FREE COLLEGE, BUT ONLINE TO SAVE US MONEY

Everyone who wants a college degree in America should be able to get one. But pesky reality dictates that we don't have the money to pay for everyone's tuition, room, board, etc. So if you want free college, we will create a fully accredited online university. This would cost us a tiny fraction of the price tag, and achieve the same result. We need out of the box thinking to solve our problems, not the same political talking points that will never actually happen.

We will also have satellite location meetups for occasional in person classes and discussion groups. There can still even be an in-person Greek system, intramural sports, and campus organizations within any city, since students opt-in and pay for that themselves anyway - Much of the full college experience. But the vast majority of it will be online and it will be free of charge. And costing the rest of us very little.

+ STUDENT LOAN BAILOUT

The big banks got bailed out, and they wronged us. Knowingly. Yet college graduates, our future, simply wanted an education. This advances our society. We will thank them by forgiving half of their debt, because we do not have the money to forgive it all. The rest will be paid back however at a very low, near zero rate, based upon their ability to pay as their careers advance, while not impeding their ability to build their lives, and making sure they don't spend forever just paying the interest. It's the least the banks could do as a thank you for us saving them.

+ GUNS ARE COOL, KIDS ARE COOLER

I will always support the second amendment. But that doesn't mean our children should fear being shot at school. School is annoying enough. We will register all gun sales, even private sales. It shouldn't be easier to get a gun than a driver's license. Again, because obviously. We will requite training. Because, if you haven't heard, guns can kill people! We will have thorough background checks, fully analyzing both criminal history and mental health. You shouldn't be able to get a gun faster than you can get toilet paper on Amazon Prime. No more loopholes. Loopholes are easy to shoot through. We must also limit the capacity of magazines. If you have an AR-15 or AK-47 you can keep it. But we will ban new sales. Because if you need a weapon like that to hunt, you are a terrible hunter, and you should work on your skills. Ane we will pass Red Flag Laws that enable people to temporarily get the guns removed from people close to them who are exhibiting signs of violence, dangerous behavior, or are making threats. This is a very effective way to save lives.

+ "CONNECTED DEMOCRACY" VOTING GIVING MORE POWER TO YOU

We are tired of the American people not having a say in what our politicians decide to do. They are supposed to serve us. So we want to help move us more toward a direct democracy, rather than just the representative democracy we have always had. We will implement a "CONNECTED DEMOCRACY" voting platform (know globally as Liquid Democracy) to give the American people a direct say in legislation and executive orders. We will push everyone running for Congress to pledge to hold a secure and transparent vote on our platform so they know exactly how their constituents want them to vote. And we will push them to pledge to follow the consensus from the vote. And as president I will put my executive orders where my mouth is. I pledge for most executive orders, and as long as they are not related to emergency spending, national security, or vital economic interests, to take a vote on the "Liquid.US" Connected Democracy platform, and to follow the will of the people, only signing it if the majority vote for it. This will take the expanding power of the last couple of presidents and instead use it to expand the power of the people. And it will also be a great way to circumvent a do-nothing Congress, without needing to pass any new legislation. Further helping us "take our democracy back".

And how's this for action? It's already live right here on this website! We have been working closely with our friends at Liquid.US to enable you to try it out right now. JUST CLICK "CONNECTED DEMOCRACY" IN THE NAV BAR and you can vote on whether you think this is a good idea or not. Your vote can be public or posted anonymously, but either way we check your info against the voter rolls, and if you are a registered voter, that will also be indicated in the constantly updated results. TRY IT OUT!

Want more info? Sure! Connected Democracy is a dynamic voting system that makes Democracy smarter, faster, more immediate, and better for both the public and elected officials. "Connected Democracy" increases the accountability of our elected officials by demonstrating how their constituents want them to vote on issues. The Liquid US platform leverages modern technology to provide voters with the ability to express their views on legislation instantaneously through their smartphone or tablet.

By reducing the communication gap between voters and representatives, citizens have the ability to seamlessly express how they want their representatives to vote. All personal information is verified, secure and tied to an individual’s voting record. In fact it is much more secure and transparent than a typical federal digital vote, as it will be verified through email, centrally tabulated, independently audited by groups with distinct interests, AND WILL ALSO be opened up for tabulation and data analysis to the blockchain, where anyone on any of the major distrubuted ledger systems can independently verify the count.

Finally, Connected Democracy helps further blunt the outsize influence of special interests by holding elected officials accountable for voting in alignment with their constituents. Any citizen can quickly measure their representative’s job performance. Elected officials can also facilitate discussions with voters through the comments, and receive immediate, ongoing insights into how their constituents feel on the issues. Liquid US is currently being used across the country by community organizers and elected legislators to measure public opinion and change laws. So this puppy is tested, already successful, and gives the power directly back into your hands. Doesn't that sound nice?

+ CONGRESS VOTES ON ONLY ONE ISSUE AT A TIME

A do-nothing congress should not try to multi-task. Congress is notorious for getting nothing done, and doing so as slowly as possible. So the fact that they draft and vote on bills with multiple issues within the same bill is insane. Because, and you would think this would be common sense, you can't vote on TWO DIFFERENT IDEAS AT THE SAME TIME! All it does is give our leaders a perfect excuse for not being held accountable for their vote. "Oh I wanted to vote for to support our veterans, but there was a bridge in there I couldn't vote for!" No more. We will pass a law mandating that they only vote on one issue at a time. Clean bills with no poison pills. So we clearly know if they are voting how they promised or not.

Having no excuses may make many politicians' heads explode. But it's a small price to pay for a government that actually works for us. They can always get more heads. And we will finally be able to start ticking some accomplishments off the list! Or kicking those who don’t right out of office.

+ CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT FOR A WOMAN'S RIGHT TO CHOOSE

A constitutional amendment for a woman’s right to choose. Along with other necessary laws to enshrine women’s rights, such as reversing the Hyde Amendment. Women's rights are being erased and we must stop this by codifying it into our constitution. It is important that men stand for this as strongly as women, because it ain’t a moral code if you only stand for it when it directly effects you! We have around 5,000 signatures already on our change.org petition for this constitutional amendment. Would you sign it? Go to tinyurl.com/RightToChooseAmendment

+ REAL EQUALITY FOR EVERYONE!!!

Our LGBTQ COMMUNITY will be FULLY PROTECTED and granted ALL RIGHTS granted to straight people. Every single one. I mean what year is this? Recently an LGBTQ civil rights bill passed the House but only 8 Republicans voted for it. EIGHT!!! We will shame these heartless people who think they are better than anyone else, when clearly their beliefs make them worse.

+ CAGE-FREE CHILDREN

I like cage-free eggs. But a higher priority should be cage-free kids. We will use humanity in our immigration practices: Stand firmly against the wall. (Hard to do since there will be no physical wall to stand against.) People who came here undocumented, if they have been positive parts of their community, will be given a reasonable pathway to citizenship. And children will not be treated as criminals ever, or put into cages. They are children. If we don’t know how to treat them then we are lost as a society. We will give them toys and fun activities while we sort through their status. And we will certainly not rip them away from their families.

+ MAKE THE DREAM A REALITY - GIVE DREAMERS CITIZENSHIP

They are just as deserving as those who waited in line. Because any family waiting in line can choose to try and cross illegally as well if times are as desperate for them. We must better protect our borders. But as long as they are still porous, which is our fault not theirs, and because we all would do so too if it was to save our family, we will treat them with dignity and kindness and respect. And because, more importantly and incredibly obviously, people brought here as children DIDN'T EVEN CHOOSE TO COME HERE! Kids don't call the shots in their families, they go where they are told. And they have essentially been Americans their whole lives. So dreamers will be granted instant citizenship. No getting in the back of the line. They have waited long enough. And they are an important part of our country.

+ NOT LETTING THE ROBOTS TAKE OVER

Fighting to protect American jobs from the onslaught of automation. Some jobs will be automated of course, but we cannot allow entire work forces to be eliminated. Call me crazy, but I value humans. So we will give incentives for companies to keep a majority of their work output created by humans. We will have a vigorous debate as to whether we want driverless cars on our roads, the trucking industry to become all autonomous, etc. And when automation replaces certain jobs, we must be human focused and help our workers participate in the proceeds, and when not viable, at the very least make sure they land on their feet.

Also have you not seen every science fiction story ever? Letting the robots take over DOES NOT END WELL.

We are the richest nation on earth, and became so while not resorting to paying sweatshop labor rates. So we have proven that we can value our workforce AND at the same time turn a healthy profit. In my administration, America can and will be the beacon for human jobs on the planet.

+ NET NEUTRALITY WILL BE PRESERVED, AND PROTECTIONS RESTORED

The internet is our only hope to keep information accessible, journalism vibrant, and real, true information alive and well. The internet is the hive mind of our planet, that we evolved out of thin air, and we need it to remain a worldwide, evolving, unfettered engine of thought, gathering, productivity, creativity, movement and ideas. This will not become yet another class system for those who can and cannot afford full unfettered access. The system keeps being tilted toward the richest few. We will tilt it right back.

+ SOCIAL MEDIA GIANTS REGULATED

They have already sold our information repeatedly without our consent, violated our trust countless times, and allowed foreign adversaries to influence our elections. Because they only care about growth and money. So they must be regulated. Zuckerberg even said to Congress that he's open to it. So good, we agree. He might be a robot, but at least we agree on something. Also social networks have begun charging us to reach our own friends, followers, and information, and choosing unexplained ever-changing algorithms over real time feeds and results, thus decising for us who and what we hear from. Not cool. These giants have become ubiquitous in our lives, and so there has to be a check on their power.

+ MAKING FLINT AND PUERTO RICO WHOLE AGAIN - YEAR ONE

The most urgent emergency spending we have. By re-allocating our annual emergency fund from military costs to our most pressing problems here at home. We use the 200 billion dollar a year fund, most of which now goes to the military, to domestic emergencies, and we keep a separate military emergency fund that sits at 200 billion as well, current levels, but is not spent every year as it is now. It is only replenished when it is needed. And it will be far less as we end unnecessary foreign entanglements and regime change wars. We must first solve our problems at home.

And we get FAR MORE bang for our buck by allocating this fund to the best in private philanthropies, with the highest ratings for donations used for actual relief per donated dollar, and to the top impact investment companies, with the most sustainable plans for making their funding allocations last many years and actually swiftly solve the problem.

I spent a week in Puerto Rico during this campaign to see some of these problems up close and to remind us that Puerto Rico is part of us. It is a beautiful place. You should take a vacation there.

We will never again allow our citizens to be left to die after a natural disater. And we will never again leave a U.S. city without safe drinkign water. We are the United States of America. Let's start acting like it.

+ PROVIDE FUNDING FOR SOBER HOMES TO ADDRESS OPIOID CRISIS

We are all aware of this devastating epidemic taking place in our country. In most cases to no fault of their own, people are becoming addicted to something being prescribed by a doctor, often over-prescribed or in misleading ways, and it is ruining miliions of lives, and taking lives at a frightening rate. We of course must hold the pharmaceutical companies and dirty providers to account, to the fullest extent of the law. But we also must have a human centered approach and provide a way for the victims of this crisis to get their lives back on track.

Rehab only lasts 28 days. But an addict's success or failure in overcoming this addiction takes place AFTER. Sober homes are wonderful, supportive resources that give these good people the chance to find a supportive healthy environment, so they don't repeat the cycle and further risk their lives. I've seen this firsthnd during our campaign. Currently the federal government provides no funding for sober homes. This will change. We will actually tackle our problems and save people's lives.

+ LEGALIZE MARIJUANA NATIONWIDE

85% of Americans are in favor of legalizing it federally. It will create countless jobs, as we've seen already that state cannabis legalization has created nearly 300,000 jobs. And it will also save lives from opioids as marijuana is often more effective at treating chronic pain, PTSD, epilepsy, Multiple Sclerosis, Parkinson's, nausea and pain from cancer treatments, and countless other ailments. And when it is legalized, opioid use drops significantly. It is also far less addictive and you cannot overdose on it. I mean a bad experience maybe, but people don't die. I'm very pro things that help people. And also anti things that make people die. Plus, marijuana makes life a lot more chill and easy going, something I think we can all agree we could use a healthy dose of these days.

I support S.597 - The Marijuana Justice Act of 2019 - to amend all the places in our written law that criminalizes cannabis. This bill also expunges the sentences of people currently in jail for cannabis related offenses.

We will put a 2% federal tax on cannabis, and will use the revenue to pay for prison reform initiatives, addressing the opioid crisis, drug abuse education, and grants for police sensitivity training.

+ TREATING ALL HUMANS HUMANELY

We can keep our nation, streets, and children safe AND treat all people with dignity. They are not mutually exclusive. Why would they be? Are we monsters? Common sense gun reform, humanity in our immigration policies, sensitivity training for police. While also respecting our officers, protecting our border, and keeping people's right to bear arms. We can do all of this. We are America.

And if you were brought here as a child, and haven't, you know, broken laws, you will become a citizen. Because you are an American. We will protect our borders AND those that come here seeking a better life will not be demonized. WE CAN DO BOTH.

+ STOP THE ORANGE MONSTER

None of this can happen if we allow 4 more years of this madman destroying our democracy. I ran because comedians are coming to power around the globe, and I thought to take down the biggest heckler of all time it might take a comedian. I wanted to make sure I offered the American people another choice in the most important election of our time. Just in case it was what was needed. We did not get the nomination, but we can still win if we make sure Trump is not re-elected. Because that is our ultimate goal. I hope I brought a helpful voice to this race, a different voice, and helped show how we must take him on aggressively, and with humor to finally put this joke of a person in his place. Please do all you can to support the nominee, and Democrats up and down the ballot, so we win the White House, both chambers of Congress, and state houses around the country, and America can return being a place we can all be proud to call home. If we don’t unify, the Orange Monster (aka Toupee Fiasco, Putin's Side-Chick, the tiny-brained traitor, Coward the Duck) will win again. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT???